Strength vs. Vulnerability

‘Are you strong enough to be weak?’

I initially wrote this article with a very diplomatic mindset. And this is how it went (you’ll see the start of it below). But as I talked to more people and introspected on my own life, a lot of different revelations came to being.

DIPLOMATIC ARTICLE:

I’ve sometimes pondered, which is better — strength or vulnerability? I’ve tried incorporating both and I think neither can exist without the other. If you are moving through life with pure strength and grit, you might miss out on the softer side of life, the creative side, the empathetic side. If you are too vulnerable, you could be taken advantage of or could be over compassionate and wear out in the process. So, let’s analyze the two and see where we get to.

Strength can be advantageous in many ways. It can provide resilience, confidence, and the ability to overcome challenges. Being strong often implies having physical, mental, emotional, or social capabilities that allow individuals to achieve their goals, protect themselves, and support others. Strength can also be empowering and enable individuals to lead, inspire, and make positive changes in their lives and communities.

Physical Strength: A person who regularly exercises and maintains good physical fitness is often considered physically strong. This strength enables them to perform tasks that require endurance, flexibility, and power, such as lifting heavy objects or participating in sports.

Mental Strength: Mental strength involves resilience, determination, and the ability to persevere in the face of challenges. For example, a student facing academic difficulties might demonstrate mental strength by persistently studying and seeking help until they improve their grades.

Emotional Strength: Emotional strength refers to the ability to manage emotions effectively, cope with stress, and maintain a positive outlook. Someone who has experienced loss or hardship but remains hopeful and optimistic demonstrates emotional strength.

Social Strength: Social strength involves interpersonal skills, leadership abilities, and the capacity to build and maintain relationships. A leader who inspires and motivates their team, even in difficult times, exhibits social strength.

On the other hand, vulnerability can also have its own strengths. It can foster empathy, authenticity, and deeper connections with others. Being vulnerable means allowing oneself to be open, honest, and exposed, which can lead to more meaningful relationships and personal growth. Vulnerability can also be a source of courage, as it requires facing fears and embracing uncertainty.

Emotional Vulnerability: Being emotionally vulnerable means allowing oneself to express genuine feelings, even if they include sadness, fear, or uncertainty. Sharing personal struggles with a trusted friend or therapist demonstrates emotional vulnerability and can lead to deeper connections.

Creative Vulnerability: Creativity often requires vulnerability because it involves taking risks and exposing one’s ideas and talents to criticism or rejection. An artist who shares their work with the public, knowing that not everyone will appreciate it, demonstrates creative vulnerability.

Interpersonal Vulnerability: Building intimate relationships requires vulnerability, as it involves opening up to another person and being willing to be seen and accepted for who you truly are. Sharing personal stories, fears, and insecurities with a romantic partner demonstrates interpersonal vulnerability.

Intellectual Vulnerability: Intellectual vulnerability involves being open to new ideas, perspectives, and feedback, even if they challenge one’s beliefs or knowledge. Engaging in debates or discussions where one admits uncertainty or acknowledges gaps in understanding demonstrates intellectual vulnerability.

Ultimately, both strength and vulnerability are essential aspects of the human experience, and neither is inherently better than the other. Instead, it’s important to recognize the value of both and strive for a balance that allows individuals to harness the benefits of each depending on the context.

REAL DEAL: MY DEEPER THOUGHTS

Now for the real deal- After talking to a lot of people, research and considering personal experiences, I have come to believe that vulnerability gets you further than strength. Strength can take you only so far.

The definition of vulnerability has to be changed in the dictionary. The original definition is ‘the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally’.

But is this really how we should be defining it? Is this how our experiences help us define the word?

Let me elaborate:

Every one of us has qualities that, in the hands of a harsh critic, would be a cause of humiliation. None of us are consistently impressive up close. We become agitated, anxious, irascible, and frightened. We scream/wail, slam doors, and shout under the stress of what’s happening. We occasionally exhibit ridiculous clumsiness; we trip, knock over objects, and bang into doors. We worry about many things almost all the time, including how other people perceive us, the direction our professions are taking, and all the significant things we have neglected to accomplish in our life. Though we are thoughtless and inconsiderate around those who are dear to us, we yearn for affection.

From certain perspectives, human beings are quite embarrassing! But we fight to keep all of this hidden. The naive inner fool is brutally muzzled and closely observed. Since we were very young, we have known that the only thing that matters when it comes to vulnerability is to fully conceal it. We make a pitiful effort to appear composed and to cover up any signs of our foolishness and to make an effort to seem far more “normal” than we actually are. It makes sense that we are preoccupied with the negative aspects of vulnerability. What is much less, vulnerability’s occasionally very big upsides are well known.

Sometimes, rather than being disastrous, the admission of vulnerability is the only a path toward mutual respect and connection. We might be able to explain at times, with unusual honesty, that we have done a lot of stupid things, that we are scared, and that we are occasionally bad items. And instead of shocking our friends, these discoveries might make us more amiable to them, making us seem more human to them, and giving them the impression that their own weaknesses have echoes in other people’s life. Together, we understand that the standard for what constitutes normal has overlooked important facets of our shared reality.

Put differently, when it comes to true friendship, vulnerability might be its cornerstone, not only or mostly as an act of adoration but also as a means of comfort and sympathy for the annoying business of living. Of course, there can be regrettable ways of dealing with vulnerability: when we act in a hostile manner, demanding that others save us, or when our weaknesses know no bounds, or when we are on the verge of fury and frenzy instead of gloom and sorrow. Being vulnerable allows people to see a tough aspect of who we are, just in the expectation that they will gain confidence to feel more comfortable with their own, less respectable sides.

Good vulnerability is essentially giving, it provides a secure environment for people to release their burdens and reveal concealed selves. It’s a present given in exchange for taking a chance on someone else.

Moreover, being vulnerable shows we are fairly powerful, to display our foolishness, ineptitude, rage, and grief with confidence that these judgments about who we are don’t have to be definitive.

I conclude the same way as I did though. Ultimately, both strength and vulnerability are essential aspects of the human experience, and neither is inherently better than the other. Instead, it’s important to recognize the value of both and strive for a balance that allows individuals to harness the benefits of each depending on the context.