Patience and how it feels like shit.

How much patience do you have?

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the mastery of tranquility in the face of life’s uncertainties.”

There is something weird I’ve realized about my life. I always get what I want ten years AFTER I crave for it. And by the time I receive it from the universe, I don’t want it anymore. I got a job that I liked after ten years of wanting it, I met people I jived with better a decade after I wanted it, I got a house in the city I love a decade after I wanted it, I am finally travelling around the world a decade after I have wanted it. Fuck the universe. Why didn’t you give it to me when I wanted it? It’s been a decade and now I don’t care about it anymore.

But I guess you could say, at least it's all happening. Maybe the universe is really dumb or since it is processing so many manifestations and desires, it has slowed down.

I have never been the kind to be patient, but I have allowed myself to cultivate it eventually and deal with wait periods, whether it's at work, in lines, for email responses, or with people who are morons. I don’t know why I’m writing an article on patience with such spite, probably because I’ve had to wait forever for things to even slide my way.

Being patient can be challenging for several reasons, and these challenges often stem from a combination of psychological, emotional, and societal factors. Here are some reasons why being patient is often tough:

Instant Gratification Culture:

• In today’s fast-paced world, there is a cultural emphasis on immediate results and instant gratification. Social media, fast food, and on-demand services contribute to the expectation of quick outcomes.

High Expectations:

• People often set high expectations for themselves and others. When these expectations are not met promptly, frustration and impatience can arise.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

• The fear of missing out on opportunities or experiences can lead to impatience. In a hyperconnected world, there is a constant stream of information, making it a challenge to be content with the present moment.

Stress and Pressure:

• High levels of stress and pressure can erode patience. When individuals are under constant pressure to meet deadlines or achieve goals, impatience can become a coping mechanism.

Lack of Control:

• Feeling a lack of control over a situation can contribute to impatience. When things don’t go as planned, individuals may struggle with the uncertainty and loss of control, leading to impatience.

Overstimulation:

• Constant exposure to stimuli, such as notifications, messages, and information overload, can make it difficult for individuals to focus and maintain patience.

Emotional Responses:

• Impatience often arises from emotional reactions to frustration, disappointment, or the feeling of being stuck. Emotional intelligence is crucial in managing these reactions.

Cultural and Societal Influences:

• Cultural norms and societal expectations can play a role in shaping individuals’ perceptions of success and the timeline for achieving it. These external pressures may contribute to impatience.

Lack of Mindfulness:

• A lack of awareness and mindfulness can make it challenging to stay present and appreciate the journey. Impatience often arises when individuals are preoccupied with future outcomes.

Personality Traits:

• Some individuals may have personality traits, such as a high level of competitiveness or a strong desire for control, that make it more difficult for them to be patient.

Cognitive Biases:

• Cognitive biases, such as the planning fallacy (underestimating how much time a task will take), can contribute to unrealistic expectations and impatience.

Overcoming impatience involves addressing these factors and adopting strategies, like mindfulness, goal setting, and perspective-taking, to manage expectations and cope with the challenges of waiting or dealing with delays. Developing patience is a skill that requires practice and self-awareness.

Here are some ways you can learn to cultivate more patience:

• Test your patience with smaller tasks: Breaking down tasks allows you to focus on completing smaller, more achievable steps. This can make the overall goal seem less overwhelming and more manageable. Completing each smaller task provides a sense of progress and accomplishment. This ongoing positive reinforcement can help boost motivation and patience as you see tangible results.
• Identify triggers: Identify the triggers that cause this impatience and see if you can do away with them. Sometimes the trigger could be people around you or a particular task that has to be done. It’s usually an external trigger as internally we don’t rush ourselves too much. It is the external trigger or chain or events that causes the pull or impatience in us.
• Practice mindfulness: It is a good idea to be aware of your thoughts and moments of impatience. Awareness is the first step to moving towards easing out a sense of impatience.
• Slow down: Sometimes pacing out life and your day can be solution to things. Having to do too many things causes us to pressurize ourselves to complete it within a stipulated time period and this causes a sense of urgency and eventually if the task is not completed on time.
• Practice acceptance: We all know that life can be mildly irritating and everything that we set out to do might not happen. We start with a lot of delusions in our heads which slowly dissolve into reality, but the acceptance allows us to be less bitter about it.

Benefits of Being More Patient

A great incentive for you to become a more patient person is to think of the wealth of benefits of being patient. High up on the list is that it reduces your stress levels. When you are patient, getting worked up at the slightest inconvenience becomes more difficult.

Other benefits of being patient include:

• Increased gratification: Taking time to wait for the things that matter to you or bring you joy and can lead to more gratification. In a 2014 study, researchers found that people were more likely to derive lasting happiness waiting for experiences. So, the next time you are in a long line for the Ferris wheel at a theme park, remember that waiting can sweeten the experience.
• Lower your stress levels: You are more likely to become stressed when you are impatient; you feel more frantic, which results in you feeling more stressed. Slowing down and learning to wait can help reduce your stress levels.
• You become more present: You don’t realize how much of life you miss out on when you hurry from task to task and place to place. Becoming more patient helps you be more present to enjoy the things you love, like a steaming cup of coffee in the morning or quality time with your loved ones.
• You make better decisions: You are more likely to make a mistake when you hurry to make a decision. Being patient and taking time to analyze a decision from every angle will help you make better decisions.

Potential Pitfalls of Being Impatient

You’ve just read about the benefits of being more patient. On the flip side of this are the potential pitfalls of being impatient. Learning more about the disadvantages of impatience can motivate you to become a more patient person.

Some of these disadvantages include:

• You become more stressed: When you are impatient, your body will likely respond as if it’s stressed and release stress hormones into your system. If you are often stressed, you can develop chronic stress, which has been linked to the development of several medical conditions.
• Poor decision-making: Rushing into decisions that should take time to process may cause you to make poor decisions.

In conclusion, the virtue of patience stands as a timeless and invaluable quality that significantly contributes to personal growth, success, and overall well-being. Through an exploration of various aspects of patience, we have uncovered its positive impacts on mental health, relationships, and achievement.

Patience serves as a powerful tool in navigating the complexities of life, allowing individuals to approach challenges with a calm and collected mindset. It fosters resilience, enabling people to endure hardships, setbacks, and uncertainties without succumbing to frustration or despair. In interpersonal relationships, patience plays a crucial role in building understanding, empathy, and effective communication. By cultivating patience, individuals can create a more harmonious and supportive environment for themselves and those around them.

Furthermore, patience is closely linked to the pursuit of long-term goals and aspirations. Success often requires perseverance and the ability to withstand obstacles, and patience provides the stamina needed for the journey. As the saying goes, “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” This positive attitude can make a significant difference in achieving one’s objectives.