Bold and Beautiful
How much of the real you will you show to the world?
Soooo…I recently got into modelling! It was kind of an overnight thing. I was scouted out by an agent on Instagram, and she gave me just the right amount of push to pursue this.
You are what you eat. But you are also ‘how you feel about yourself’.
Everyone’s body goes through phases. In my teen years I wanted to have the typical flat-tummy, size-zero-figure, especially after seeing these stupid-ass Bollywood movies, and there were days when I didn’t each much (like a complete moron) thinking that it could lead to a leaner body.
In our 20’s, we can eat almost anything, and we’d be a-okay the next day. Even putting on some extra weight wouldn’t matter too much. But as you hit your 30’s, things begin to show. I used to work out during my late 20’s and I was quite persistent with it. But I lost momentum once work took more precedence. I weirdly thought that if I was able to get to a certain fitness level in my 20’s, I could naturally maintain it by not working too hard. WRONG.
The later you start working out, the harder you have to work at it. I got back to working out during my 30’s but going to the gym just didn’t seem to work for me long term. I was toning up but there was this weight gain that started happening. I realized later that this was due to the increase in my diet after working out and the wrong sources of food that were going into my body post workouts.
So now I have literally taken a break, just sticking to eating what I like, mostly healthy stuff at home, and some junk here and there, and heading out for a nice dinner once in a while. But I have replaced certain cravings with better food sources and have understood the quantity and quality of food that gives my body more sustained energy and keeps me fuller.
Sugar and sweets have been replaced with fruits, and when eating out, ordering the healthiest item on the menu, as opposed to fried things, works wonders. It allows you to socialize but not come back home bloated. But all in all, I’m not depriving myself of anything, as I realized that if I do that, I’ll end up binging more on that junk later, so it’s better to have small quantities of what you crave for than overeating later when you lose control. But of course, I will get back to my training. From tomorrow. I give you, my word!
Coming back to my body now, at 36 years of age. I was going through a bit of a struggle accepting the changes, but talking to the agent who found me, changed a lot in me. She would challenge me every day to try new looks, bolder looks and styled pieces. Being a person who has a lot of kurtas in her wardrobe and more Indian looks that Western, this was a bit of a challenge for me. But we worked through it, and we put together a lot of looks which eventually got me confident enough to shoot with photographers professionally. I was more confident about being completely myself and became fully comfortable in my own body, with clothes or without.
But there a bit of a catch to doing this. Firstly, it becomes a sort of an addiction, because you’re constantly stimulating your mind by trying out new looks, unique looks and bolder looks. You don’t want to be judged for it and also your following might fluctuate based on those people who will accept you for this sudden bold change in nature. Well, I shouldn’t say ‘change in nature’, the bold nature was always in me, but society has trained us women to not showcase it too much, plus familial conditioning too. But I think it was time to break that. And I did so on Women’s Day by revealing some bolder modelling pictures of mine. And it was amazing how well it was received! I was applauded for my confidence and bold nature and people wanted more of it. Women were getting inspired to be bold and get out there, get on their dream-train and hustle. But with people wanting more, it also becomes a bit of an obligation to do more, share more and create more. And I was wondering if that high and stimulation was worth it in the long run.
I knew I could definitely look back years later and pat myself on the back for what I tried, and the looks I put out there! But can I do it daily? I don’t think I can do ‘sexy’ every day for sure, that’s a lot of pressure. But I can do simple some days, cute some days, traditional some days and maybe sexy once in a while.
But I realized beyond all of this, I wanted to sing live more. I could always encompass cool looks while singing, and not necessarily do it on Insta daily. So now I am looking to do more live performances that come my way. But it’s so interesting how the modelling phase gave me more clarity and confidence when it came to my music. The freer your body is, the clearer you mind is about what you want to do next. So I think I should thank — ‘sweet shoutouts’ for giving me this subconscious boost I needed. And I will continue imbibing that learning. I think it’s something that my body will not forget — that no matter how the body changes, you must love it, you must take care of it, but never doubt it’s beauty, for we are humans, we are never perfect, we are all unique and constantly changing and morphing and THAT is where all the magic lies.
So, all you women out there, go wear that bikini, drape that sexy saree, wear those high heels! For just like you have one life, you have one body and no matter what your mood is or how the external world is, you must celebrate it!
Also, might I say after writing this article, that I am aging quite gracefully ❤