As 35 approaches…
I am writing this article as I find a lot of changes in me, physically and emotionally as I reach the age of 35. Firstly, I think it’s a milestone as I am confident about a lot of my talents. I have discovered what I am good at and what I can sustain.
I also realized that the body is a temple we should be taking care of regularly. I feel more and more that we are just mere organisms on this Earth, organisms that ultimately degrade. So doesn’t that mean we have to make the most of life and live it up? Well, if I were my utopic self in my 20’s, I would have said HELL YES! But now I’m a tad bit more real about things, so I would say — Not necessarily. You can live just to exist and that’s not all that bad either. On some days just ambling or not doing anything so extremely productive is perfectly fine, in fact, you don’t have to light your ass on fire to get things done. Well, of course for a salary you’ll have to put in that effort, but apart from that you don’t actually have to do much.
I used to be one of those people who would want to do so much in a day and I would work on a sort of surge I would push on myself. But I realize that by doing that, I’m just being mean to myself. Instead I now choose kindness and through this act, I feel like I can produce more if I want, as I am much more ‘in tune’ with myself.
I realize that you can’t stop with your passions, you must go on with them, even if you have reached a certain level of finesse, probably because to feel some sense of completion of something new. I don’t think it’s about getting better anymore, you’re already probably damn good at a couple of things, you just need to keep at them and maybe find some variety in those areas so that it still keeps you on your toes to some extent.
I also know that at this age, we need to look at health and taking care of our body, which I understand is a necessity, but I don’t think I’m going to be cutting out on heading out and making merry with my friends. My friends have become very important to me as I want to spend all the time I have left with people and not always alone. Yet, I also feel that if you establish a good relationship with yourself, you won’t feel lonely. I am actually at the verge of not even needing a partner because I am at home with myself and my thoughts. I know there is this saying —’Alone you can go fast, together you can go further’, but that has never made sense in any of my relationships, as I have been the person who has wanted to try new things and go far, but I didn’t really feel like I was going far, I felt like I was getting exhausted, passing time or sometimes looking for better company. So what I am trying to say is, when I am alone, I am pretty sure of where I want to go and I don’t need to consult anyone about it or adjust in any way. It’s my way all the while as long as I choose to do it.
I’m beginning to wonder why people choose partnership as for me it’s put me in a space of weird fatigue and dependency. And being single has given me my spirit back to get out into the world and do what ever I want to do, I don’t need to be accountable to anyone but myself. And even with myself, I have developed a relationship which does not make a chore out of accountability. Allow yourself to do things at your pace, you are human and bound to move up and down on the emotional and energy graph.
I also realized wanting to do everything happens only if you’re calm about it and not in some sort of frenzy to do it all. You don’t even have to. There is no one who is going to give you an award when you die for the things you’ve done, they are gone with the wind anyways and you will be too some day. But nevertheless, continuing to do things for the sake of keeping active and being in the state of action is alright, if that’s what keeps your mental energy up.
I am going to add onto this soon…